you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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