Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
