She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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