I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
