I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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