You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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