They should really pass out barf bags in church
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
