i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
