I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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