if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
