Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
