he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
