why didn't you poke me back
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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