i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
