Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
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