i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
