Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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