He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
