Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You need a sexual gate keeper
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
