I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
