Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Randomize
