just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize