Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I wish there were birth control emojis
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
false alarm, still single
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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