So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
