i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
honey bunches of taint.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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