I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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