I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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