Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
