My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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