But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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