you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
