Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
