I think my fart just growled at me.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize