Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize