I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
