physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
