As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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