I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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