Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I will pee on everything he values.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
