what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
