you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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