Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize