Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
