Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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