I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
