Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
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so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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