She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I pour the whiskey from now on
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize