I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
