Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
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