Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
