Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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