New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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