1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
