my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
