My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
