Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
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just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
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I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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