Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
