Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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