What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
